Overcoming Skating Bullies POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 27, 2013
“If people are trying to bring you down, that only means that you are above them” It has been through my experience and many other skaters that I know, no matter where you go there is at least one person that tries to bring you down. Somehow that single person manages to ruin your experience whether it be an aggressive competitor or a fellow club member or sometimes even a coach who plays mind games. As much as we would like to avoid these people all together, reality prevents that from happening. We can; however, defeat these negative kind of people. Here a few reasons why those kind of people may seem negative. I feel as though knowing why these people are negative helps overcome their effort to bring us down. Instead of letting those people get to you and letting them win, show them how amazing you are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Even if those negative people may seem like strong jumpers, you may have amazing spins or expression or footwork. Everyone has weaknesses including high level skaters so please don’t be intimidated by someone who is trying to put you down.
Reasons for Skaters Being Bullies
#1 They are jealous! This is by far the number reason and it branches out into many sub reasons of jealously. It may not seem like it, but a lot of people are jealous for various reasons. They may be jealous of your strengths such as your spins or jumps, but there are other various reasons why they might be jealous. A very common but hidden reason I have found is because they aren’t happy and you are! You are actually having fun and smiling and they aren’t. Another reason might be their coach. Coaches play mind games all of the time and it starts to eat away at skaters. They could very well be jealous of you because you have an encouraging or fun coach compared to a strict and mean coach.
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” William Penn
#2 Intimidation Many skaters are intimidated by others and put on a big act to be the “big shot” or even a bully to cover up the fact that they are scared. Even if there is a lower level skater, the bully might see them as a threat because they know they are talented and could surpass them in the near future.
# 3 Power Other times bullies often want power among their peers. If they find someone who is not in their clique it is easy for them to talk behind your back because they think they are gaining social power amongst their peers. The bullies may think they are gaining power, but they are really losing the opportunity for friendships because sooner or later the other members in the clique are going to put together that if the bully will talk about other people behind their backs, they will about themselves as well.
“Ignore the people who talk behind your back. Thats where they belong. Behind you”
The reasons listed above are all petty. I realize that ignoring them is something that is easier said than done. Even to this day there are certain people that manage to put a damper on my day and make the rink, a place a feel at home, seem more like a detention center and I’m there because I did something wrong. But as long as we remember that we are strong, talented, and positive people, sooner or later karma will catch up to them. Go do your thing. Be happy and be proud!